Soul Inspiration – Comfort over Fashion
Yesterday, I attended the Melbourne Cup—an event known as “the race that stops the nation.” It’s a spectacular day where people come together, dressed in their best, with women often in beautiful dresses, hats, or fascinators, all celebrating the occasion. The whole atmosphere feels festive, sophisticated, and a little daring. Yet, amongst all the fashion and festivities, I found myself observing something deeper about how we present ourselves—and how we see others.
As I glanced around, I couldn’t help but admire the styles and colors of all the beautiful dresses and hats. There’s something truly special about women coming together, dressed up and celebrating, that brings out a certain collective confidence. I was curious to know what makes one woman pick that particular dress. As I noticed the dresses I also noticed their choice of shoes, majority of women were in high heels, varying heights and shapes.
I wondered, how many women, like me, were suffering and feeling the aches and pains of high heels! I love how high heels look, they set the dress and you feel sexy and confident but my feet always seem to have a different opinion. Luckily for me I know this about my feet and I packed a second pair of shoes, my trusty flat converse.
After a few hours, I slipped off the heels, swapped them for my comfortable flats, and let out a sigh of relief. Standing there in my Converse, I didn’t care what anyone thought—I felt free. Embracing comfort, in whatever form, is one of the simplest ways we show ourselves respect.
After I had swapped my shoes I noticed a young woman nearby who had also reached her high-heel limit. She slipped off her shoes, planted her feet on the grass, and her whole face softened with a look of relief. Seeing that simple, genuine moment made me wonder: how many of us endure discomfort to “look the part” or meet an unspoken standard? How many of us sacrifice our body for fashion. Why do we do it?
After a few hours of observation I couldn’t help but notice a group of men talking and looking in a particular direction. I had to follow their direction to see what they were looking at and talking about. Now, I saw a woman in a long black sheer dress talking to a man and you could see her bra and g-string underwear through her dress. I wondered, what makes a woman wear that kind of dress. It’s not a dress I would have chosen. She must have been pretty confident in herself to wear a dress like that. Maybe she didn’t care what others thought—or maybe it was both
While I don’t know what these men were saying about her she seemed to be enjoying the conversation she was having with the other man.
It’s freeing to realize that confidence isn’t about meeting anyone else’s expectations. It’s about feeling comfortable in our own choices, whether that’s wearing a bold dress, choosing heels, or—like me—swapping heels for Converse! We each have the power to choose what feels best for us, but so often, we’re held back by that lingering question: “What will people think?”
The reality is that confidence is deeply personal. This woman’s choice to wear something bold wasn’t necessarily about impressing anyone—it was about her comfort in her own body, her own sense of style, her own expression. Yet, people around her formed silent opinions, judgments even. And in that moment, I realized that much of the discomfort many women feel doesn’t come from what we wear, but from the internalized fear of how we’ll be perceived.
Imagine if, instead of glancing sideways or forming opinions, we took a moment to appreciate that confidence in others without questioning it. Imagine if we wore what made us feel our best without that lingering concern of “What will people think?”
One of the most liberating steps in our journey is learning to let go of the weight of other people’s judgments. It’s easier said than done, especially when we live in a society that places so much value on appearances. But I think it starts with small steps—like acknowledging our own judgments and choosing to release them. The next time we catch ourselves forming an opinion about someone’s outfit, perhaps we could try to see their confidence rather than critique their choices.
Body acceptance and confidence are acts of courage. Whether it’s wearing a bold dress or choosing flats over heels, these choices are deeply personal. So, let’s embrace our unique expressions and appreciate the expressions of others as well.
Yesterday’s event reminded me that true beauty comes from feeling at ease with who we are, not from meeting others’ expectations. It’s a journey of letting go of judgments, both our own and those of others, and finding comfort in our own choices. Next time, I might just skip the heels—and I’ll wear what makes me feel powerful and free.
Because when we stop worrying about the opinions of others and start celebrating each other’s unique expressions, we create a space that’s not just beautiful, but empowering.